Some big changes are happening in my life right now. I just finished taking classes after nearly 18 years of continuous education. Also, I PASSED my qualifying exams, so now I’m officially a PhD candidate. These past couple months (and two years really) have been a complete whirlwind of grant writing, experiments, and stress that I haven’t had time to really pause and think. So with my new found freedom and time, I decided to make this blog dedicated to highlighting my journey as a PhD Candidate, a young adult, and a scientist. Who knows… maybe I will teach you a thing about computational biology as well.

For the first time in a long time I feel at ease. I have a great apartment surrounded by friends and family. I’m lucky enough to enjoy living with my girlfriend, Brie, and my stinky dog, Gus. This weekend I was even able to explore Tallulah Gorge State Park, where I snagged a picture of the beautiful Mountain Laurel you see in this post thumbnail. A much needed break from the bustle.

As a freshly minted PhD Candidate, I FINALLY get to fulfill my dream of becoming a full-time researcher. As this journey begins, I am filled with both excitement and anxiety. Questions swirl in my head: “Am I good enough to actually do this?”, “Will my experiments fail”, “Is my proposal actually just nothing?”, “What does the future have in store for me?” I know I’m not unique in the slightest for feeling this way. Thousands before me have felt will feel the same exact way I do.

While these feelings are common across the years, I do not think this should minimize the enormity and seriousness of these feelings. Often we dismiss our own struggles because many before us have dealt with the same thing. People who have “made it” look back fondly on earlier times and trivialize the struggles of a trainee. It’s only been ~4 days since passing my quals and I already see myself doing this. What now seems like a foregone conclusion… that I would pass… did not at all feel certain a few days earlier. I was stressed, scared, and had no idea what would happen. I’m sure in a year when the next crop of PhD students have their turn, I will declare with overconfident certainty that “Of course you will pass you’ll be fine”. Yet for those coming through, they stand before an abyss of scary unknown.

I want to preserve this feeling of understanding I have now as I move forward in this life. I hope these posts will stand as a monument to the struggles that both PhD students and young adults face as they traverse the early stages of life. So I’d like to think of this blog as my online journal. I hope to post about the musing and excitements that bubble up from time to time in hopes that they may be of use to someone else, perhaps even my future self.

Until next time,

Garrett